“It’s not about pregnancy, it’s not even about eggs and sperm. It’s about what you’re able to put into it in terms of your intention and your heart opening up to what you experience.”
Dara Roth Edney had wanted to become a mother ever since she was a child. But when she tried to conceive in her mid-twenties, things didn’t go as planned. What followed was six years of disappointment, sadness, and heartbreak as Dara pursued her dream to become a parent.
After several painful surgeries, IVF, and a miscarriage, Dara and her partner finally made the decision to choose gestational surrogacy.
While one in six people experience infertility, and one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage, reproductive challenges are still not something that is widely discussed, leaving so many women and men feeling alone. According to a Harvard Medical School study (2009), people struggling to conceive, or carry a pregnancy to term, experience similar rates of depression and anxiety as those diagnosed with cancer, HIV, and heart disease.
Today, Dara is a mother to two teenaged daughters, both born via gestational surrogacy, and a Toronto-based reproductive counselor whose personal experience with infertility plays a profound role in how she works with clients. This includes offering them tools to manage the stress that so often goes along with infertility.
Dara’s road to parenthood ended happily, but the journey to get there was fraught with feelings of guilt and shame. In her conversation with the LifeSpeak Podcast, she offers a candid and honest account of her experience, how she tackled the years of uncertainty, as well as repeated questions from well-meaning friends who would ask, ‘When are you having kids?’. Dara also discusses why she and her partner ultimately decided to pursue surrogacy, and how the pandemic has had a devastating impact on many people going through fertility treatments.
Dara’s discussion about her personal experience and the work she does with clients is a must-listen for anyone who is currently going through fertility treatments, or who is looking to support a loved one through the process.
Dara Roth Edney can be contacted at informedfertility.ca